Look Deep.

"Test me, LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind;" Psalm 26:2

I just got back from getting a panoramic dental x-ray. A fairly quick process that took maybe 20 seconds.  The only two disconcerting things were the fact there was a mirror in front of me that displayed a red light crosshair target centered on my forehead.  I know this is to keep the x-ray centered.  But I've seen way to many action movies to think this is a good sign. The other problem was that I kept thinking about the old baseball story from Yogi Berra when he was x-rayed after being beaned by a baseball.  "They examined my head but they didn't find anything," he said. Hopefully that won't prove the case with mine.

The x-ray was done to get a complete picture. They want to see all the inner workings from teeth to sinuses and beyond. They want a thorough examination.  It's not just about looking at the outside, or what can be readily seen, but what's underneath. The real story, if you will.

This is exactly what David is asking God in the Psalm above. He is asking God to give him an x-ray. Examine the inner workings of my heart. Examine the inner workings of my mind.  Look deep within and see what's really going on. Not what I present to people but the real me.

As I think about this, it's an incredibly brazen prayer. And I wonder how comfortable many of us would be if we really prayed this prayer with any sincerity?  Do you really want God to know the real you? Do you really want him to see the parts of your heart and mind you hide from everyone? Most days I want God to see the mind and heart I show everyone else. The good stuff. The times I am compassionate or patient. But not the dark inner resources of my heart.

But David knows if God is not allowed into those dark places, the sin that lies there will never be exposed. It will lie like a malignant growth on his heart. It's not just about exposing his mind and heart. It's about letting God in to heal and change David's mind and heart.

I think it is this attitude that causes God to call David a man after my own heart. It's not that David was always godly. He certainly wasn't perfect. His home life left a lot to be desired.  He sinned horribly.  But David's saving grace was his willingness at the broken points of his life to come to God and say "Examine me. Test my mind and heart. Make me holy as You are holy."

Maybe you are like me. You're more than bit hesitant to allow God to examine your mind and heart.  Let me offer you a word of encouragement. He has already been there. God already knows all about the dark, dank, musty corners of your heart. He knows about the unpleasant things lurking under the floorboards in your mind. And He still loves you. We need never fear, no matter how sinful or broken we are, God's rejection. God loves us right where we are. God loves you right where you are.

Letting God examine our minds and hearts is an invitation for healing. It's an invitation that God will remove the sin-sick stain on our lives and fill us with His Holy Spirit. It's a chance to become a person after God's own heart.

So I'm going to start praying the prayer more. I believe God's going to take my prayer seriously. I don't assume it will always be a pleasant experience as God and I can be at odds over what's best for me. But I know, in the end, I will be a person after God's own heart. So what about you? What will God say about you? Are you a person after His heart? Will you allow Him in to examine the inner you? Are you a person after God's own heart?

In Christ,
Rev. Dr. Brian Jones <><